So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
