I will die if light touches me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
