It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
