You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
