I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
