Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize