i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
