Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
