I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Pooping to opera.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
