Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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