hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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