Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
