Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
