ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
ok first of all what the fuck
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
