I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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