ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize