i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
