"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
