So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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