i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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