I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
