i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
