You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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