hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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