At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
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