when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
