I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need a beard to bite.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
