i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
