You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
