Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
