It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize