well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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