what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
