so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
