He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
why is half of my head shaved?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
