I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
