You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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