i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
