Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
