Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
