Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
false alarm. still invincible.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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