It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
