I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize