You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
