P.S. I can't hear my feet
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
