Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
