i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
