I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
