Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
