words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
