This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
