I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
