I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
