I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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