I molested 6 butterflies tonight
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
