one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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