in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize