Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
