No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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