Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
