last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
