College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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