I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
