Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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