gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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