Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
