tell your sister to shave her snatch
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
