fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
