just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
