What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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