1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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