this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
