You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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