I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She's JV to your varsity
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
